Do Nice Guys really finish last?
He Said
Speaking on behalf of Nice Guys everywhere, finishing is not the problem, it's getting your foot even in the door! Seriously, you see women complain to their girlfriends that they have the same problem with every guy they date. HELLO! The common denominator is her. If she has the same problem with every guy she meets, she needs to work on her problem recognition skills. Most women aren't attracted to the guy they SAY they want, so the nice guys don't stand a chance.
She Said
Some women enjoy spending their lives trying to change a man. Whether it’s their man’s style, attitude, or inhibitions, women will put forth the effort in trying to untangle the knots that they hope will eventually become a perfect bow.. But then an epiphany will arrive, and they will realize that a man is like a shoe size… you can’t change it. Dating jerks are one thing; marrying one is another. I have faith that most women are strong enough to recognize a man’s red flags and not stay in an unhealthy relationship because they are 35 and single. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, and you happen to meet Mr. Wrong; a man with no home training, bad style, and has a few kids by a few different women, nothing about him will change. If he’s in his 30’s, and still leaving the toilet seat up (among other things) then back away slowly and start walking in the opposite direction. Of course there are a few who think they are super woman and will try to save a man, and change those red flags; but those women often end up sad and depressed with a man that wears patterns and plaids in the same outfit. Sex and the City’s Charlotte York said it perfectly, “I’ve been dating since I was 15, I’m exhausted, where is he?!” She’s exhausted from dating men who don’t meet her standards of a good husband. If you’re being frantic because you’re 35 years-old and alone, then some women will look past a man’s red flags; or they’ll take the Charlotte York approach, and remain single until they find that nice gentleman who will be a great husband and father.
I Agree with Her...
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MomOfTwo (5 months ago) I agree with her on the standpoint of women wanting to change a man. I definitely DON'T agree with the fact that his fashion style is going to dictate whether he's a great husband and father. Many men don't have any fashion sense, and don't actually KNOW. In that case, a few gifts purchased in a newer or more flattering style might be a good way to help them along. But if they have a very sound sense of style and it just isn't something you like...learn to like them...and not their clothes. I think it is worth the wait to find the right guy. I'm also one of the women who tried to hard to meet my "timeline" that I thought I SHOULD be doing, instead of waiting for the one that felt right with no red flags.
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I Agree with Him...
john (5 months ago) Yep, there is a big disconnect between what woman say they want and who they actually spend time with. Nice guys don't stand a chance, the best they get is "friendship" status, so they can hear her complaints about the jerky guys she lets past the door.
AmeliaApple (5 months ago) To some extent I agree with John on this one. There is something innately intoxicating for a woman about a "manly-man". I think it is genetic. I think it also depends on the type of “nice” or the degree to which the guy is “nice”. I know that I want a man that is respectful, appreciative, and loving, but I don’t want a man more womanly than me. For me, I like a man who will take charge from time to time. I think we say we want the “nice” guy, but we want the “nice” guy balance. Being in a relationship with a pushover, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friend, is just not satisfying. I do like nice guys, but will admit to being more attracted to the jerk from time to time.
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