Work Spouses – do they count as cheating?
He Said
If my wife or someone else's is concerned because her husband is always talking about this woman from work, then she is insecure about their relationship because her self-image is broken. If she questions the outfits I wear to work, or "who will be there" for those afterwork get togethers for drinks, it is her own jealousy issues to deal with...I'm doing nothing wrong. If this is the relationship she’s worried about then there is no need to worry. The ability to have an office confidant to watch your back, share information, and build a friendship with is a healthy thing. It is when the relationship breaks those boundaries and moves to intimacy that you need to worry and take action. But sharing things with my work spouse that I wouldn't share with my wife is ok. I don't see any issue with it. She shares things with her girlfriends that she doesn't tell me!
She Said
I think the problem occurs when he has trouble separating his work spouse from his actual spouse. It is one thing to come home and tell your wife about a funny incident that happened with your work spouse. In fact, keeping your real spouse informed of what goes on between you and this work friend is a great idea. The fewer secrets, the easier it is to put me at ease--after all if there were really something going on, he would avoid talking to me about her, right? A work spouse might provide some fun and relief from the real world during a boring work day, but it should never compete with our marriage. Once it does, it is emotional cheating that might lead to something more. I tell my husband that if he and his work wife wouldn't do it or say it in front of me, then they shouldn't do it or say it at all!
I Agree with Her...
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BlondesHaveMoreFun (2 months ago) I agree with most of this...although the idea that if something were going on he wouldn't talk about it...hasn't heard of the phrase "hiding in plain sight". I also disagree with his statement that being concerned over a work spouse regards issues of my self-esteem. I have to be confident enough to understand that I won't accept behaviour that is not respecting my marriage.
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lifeafter55 (3 weeks ago) I agree with her. Work spouse or female friend in other situations, have to remain within boundaries. Emotional adultry can be as damaging as physical.
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allenj7030 (3 weeks ago) I agree with her, sometimes when you get close to a person at work from the opposite sex and you talk a lot about your personal life, and they do theirs it can cause some emotional cheating. Sometimes when you get in an argument with your spouse it can be very hurtful for you to talk about it with a work spouse.
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I Agree with Him...
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