I am Petrified to Date Again!

By: DivorceCoachLori

After a divorce, it is a SCARY prospect to get back out there in the dating world! How do you know if you are ready?

Valentine Sweets for the Sweetie

Posted 02-11-2010

Becoming your own sweetheart is the theme this year. Be around those who cherish you and don't focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do have.

» Read more
Losing the Losers is a great place to start!

Posted 01-04-2010

After a divorce, it is a SCARY prospect to get back out there in the dating world! Start right now by losing the losers!

» Read more
DATE can be frightening 4 letter word!

Posted 12-21-2009

If you haven't been on a date in years, you are on the right page. Scary doesn't begin to describe the trepidation you are feeling. A million questions are streaming through your mind

» Read more

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sunflowermamaFemale, Littleton, CO
SayerdT5msklMale, Tallahassee, FL
woos1Female, New York, NY
KevynMale, Escondido, CA

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71	SELECT `BlogSeries`.`id`, `BlogSeries`.`member_id`, `BlogSeries`.`name`, `BlogSeries`.`description`, `BlogSeries`.`page_seo`, `BlogSeries`.`metatitle`, `BlogSeries`.`metadescription`, `BlogSeries`.`metakeywords`, `BlogSeries`.`featured`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsored`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_dn`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_name`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_message`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_url`, `BlogSeries`.`top_count`, `BlogSeries`.`created`, `BlogSeries`.`modified`, `BlogSeries`.`deleted`, `BlogSeries`.`image_id` FROM `blog_series` AS `BlogSeries` WHERE `BlogSeries`.`id` = 100014	1	1	0
72	SELECT `Member`.`id`, `Member`.`username`, `Member`.`password`, `Member`.`email`, `Member`.`gender`, `Member`.`zip_code`, `Member`.`relationship_status_id`, `Member`.`registration_key`, `Member`.`verified`, `Member`.`date_of_birth`, `Member`.`sexual_orientation`, `Member`.`story`, `Member`.`first_name`, `Member`.`last_name`, `Member`.`created`, `Member`.`modified`, `Member`.`last_active`, `Member`.`display_name`, `Member`.`super_admin`, `Member`.`deleted` FROM `members` AS `Member` WHERE `Member`.`id` = 2307	1	1	0
73	SELECT `Image`.`id`, `Image`.`image_path`, `Image`.`thumbnail_path`, `Image`.`member_id`, `Image`.`profile_image`, `Image`.`album_id`, `Image`.`page_id`, `Image`.`created`, `Image`.`modified` FROM `images` AS `Image` WHERE `Image`.`id` = 195	1	1	0
74	SELECT `BlogSeries`.`id`, `BlogSeries`.`member_id`, `BlogSeries`.`name`, `BlogSeries`.`description`, `BlogSeries`.`page_seo`, `BlogSeries`.`metatitle`, `BlogSeries`.`metadescription`, `BlogSeries`.`metakeywords`, `BlogSeries`.`featured`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsored`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_dn`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_name`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_message`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_url`, `BlogSeries`.`top_count`, `BlogSeries`.`created`, `BlogSeries`.`modified`, `BlogSeries`.`deleted`, `BlogSeries`.`image_id` FROM `blog_series` AS `BlogSeries` WHERE `BlogSeries`.`id` = 100014	1	1	0
75	SELECT `Member`.`id`, `Member`.`username`, `Member`.`password`, `Member`.`email`, `Member`.`gender`, `Member`.`zip_code`, `Member`.`relationship_status_id`, `Member`.`registration_key`, `Member`.`verified`, `Member`.`date_of_birth`, `Member`.`sexual_orientation`, `Member`.`story`, `Member`.`first_name`, `Member`.`last_name`, `Member`.`created`, `Member`.`modified`, `Member`.`last_active`, `Member`.`display_name`, `Member`.`super_admin`, `Member`.`deleted` FROM `members` AS `Member` WHERE `Member`.`id` = 2307	1	1	0
76	SELECT `Image`.`id`, `Image`.`image_path`, `Image`.`thumbnail_path`, `Image`.`member_id`, `Image`.`profile_image`, `Image`.`album_id`, `Image`.`page_id`, `Image`.`created`, `Image`.`modified` FROM `images` AS `Image` WHERE `Image`.`id` = 195	1	1	0
77	SELECT `Tag`.`id`, `Tag`.`tag`, `Tag`.`created`, `Tag`.`modified`, `BlogsTag`.`blog_id`, `BlogsTag`.`tag_id` FROM `tags` AS `Tag` JOIN `blogs_tags` AS `BlogsTag` ON (`BlogsTag`.`blog_id` IN (114, 113, 112, 111, 110) AND `BlogsTag`.`tag_id` = `Tag`.`id`) WHERE 1 = 1	16	16	0
78	SELECT `Events`.`event_id`, `Events`.`creator_member_id`, `Events`.`access_level`, `Events`.`event_name`, `Events`.`start_date`, `Events`.`end_date`, `Events`.`addr1`, `Events`.`addr2`, `Events`.`city`, `Events`.`state`, `Events`.`zip`, `Events`.`description`, `Events`.`created`, `Events`.`modified`, `Events`.`deleted` FROM `events` AS `Events` WHERE `Events`.`start_date` >= 1280376000 AND `Events`.`deleted` = 0 ORDER BY `Events`.`event_name` ASC LIMIT 5	0	0	0
79	SELECT `Page`.`id`, `Page`.`title`, `Page`.`page_seo`, `Page`.`category_id`, `Page`.`subcategory_id`, `Page`.`description`, `Page`.`content`, `Page`.`metatitle`, `Page`.`metadescription`, `Page`.`metakeywords`, `Page`.`tags`, `Page`.`published`, `Page`.`featured`, `Page`.`system`, `Page`.`sitemap`, `Page`.`member_id`, `Page`.`created`, `Page`.`modified`, `Page`.`top_article_count`, `Member`.`id`, `Member`.`username`, `Member`.`password`, `Member`.`email`, `Member`.`gender`, `Member`.`zip_code`, `Member`.`relationship_status_id`, `Member`.`registration_key`, `Member`.`verified`, `Member`.`date_of_birth`, `Member`.`sexual_orientation`, `Member`.`story`, `Member`.`first_name`, `Member`.`last_name`, `Member`.`created`, `Member`.`modified`, `Member`.`last_active`, `Member`.`display_name`, `Member`.`super_admin`, `Member`.`deleted`, `Image`.`id`, `Image`.`image_path`, `Image`.`thumbnail_path`, `Image`.`member_id`, `Image`.`profile_image`, `Image`.`album_id`, `Image`.`page_id`, `Image`.`created`, `Image`.`modified` FROM `pages` AS `Page` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`Page`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `images` AS `Image` ON (`Image`.`page_id` = `Page`.`id`) WHERE `featured` = 1 AND `published` = 1 ORDER BY `Page`.`top_article_count` ASC, `Page`.`created` DESC LIMIT 5	5	5	4
80	SELECT `PagesComment`.`id`, `PagesComment`.`page_id`, `PagesComment`.`member_id`, `PagesComment`.`text`, `PagesComment`.`created`, `PagesComment`.`deleted` FROM `pages_comments` AS `PagesComment` WHERE `PagesComment`.`page_id` IN (100064, 100063, 100061, 100060, 100066) ORDER BY `PagesComment`.`created` DESC	0	0	0
81	SELECT `Tag`.`id`, `Tag`.`tag`, `Tag`.`created`, `Tag`.`modified`, `PagesTag`.`page_id`, `PagesTag`.`tag_id` FROM `tags` AS `Tag` JOIN `pages_tags` AS `PagesTag` ON (`PagesTag`.`page_id` IN (100064, 100063, 100061, 100060, 100066) AND `PagesTag`.`tag_id` = `Tag`.`id`) WHERE 1 = 1	38	38	1
82	UPDATE `pages` AS `Page` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`Page`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) SET `Page`.`top_article_count` = 9947 WHERE `Page`.`id` = 100064	1		0
83	SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `friends` AS `Friend` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Requestor` ON (`Friend`.`member_id` = `Requestor`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Requestee` ON (`Friend`.`friend_id` = `Requestee`.`id`) WHERE `Friend`.`approved` = 0 AND `Friend`.`rejected` = 0 AND `Friend`.`ignored` = 0 AND `Friend`.`friend_id` IS NULL	1	1	1
84	SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `friends` AS `Friend` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Requestor` ON (`Friend`.`member_id` = `Requestor`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Requestee` ON (`Friend`.`friend_id` = `Requestee`.`id`) WHERE `Friend`.`approved` = 0 AND `Friend`.`rejected` = 0 AND `Friend`.`ignored` = 0 AND `Friend`.`friend_id` IS NULL AND `Friend`.`viewed` = 0	1	1	0
85	DESCRIBE `he_said_she_saids`	8	8	1
86	DESCRIBE `he_said_she_saids_comments`	8	8	0
87	SELECT `HeSaidSheSaid`.`id`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`page_seo`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`question`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`hesaid_text`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`shesaid_text`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`published`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`created`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`modified` FROM `he_said_she_saids` AS `HeSaidSheSaid` WHERE 1 = 1 ORDER BY `created` DESC LIMIT 1	1	1	0
88	SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `he_said_she_saids_comments` AS `HeSaidSheSaidsComment` LEFT JOIN `he_said_she_saids` AS `HeSaidSheSaid` ON (`HeSaidSheSaidsComment`.`he_said_she_said_id` = `HeSaidSheSaid`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`HeSaidSheSaidsComment`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) WHERE `he_said_she_said_id` = 5 AND `comment_type` = 1	1	1	0
89	SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `he_said_she_saids_comments` AS `HeSaidSheSaidsComment` LEFT JOIN `he_said_she_saids` AS `HeSaidSheSaid` ON (`HeSaidSheSaidsComment`.`he_said_she_said_id` = `HeSaidSheSaid`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`HeSaidSheSaidsComment`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) WHERE `he_said_she_said_id` = 5 AND `comment_type` = 2	1	1	0

(default) 89 queries took 26 ms

Query

Error

Affected

Num. rows

Took (ms)

DESCRIBE `aros`

DESCRIBE `acos`

DESCRIBE `aros_acos`

DESCRIBE `blog_series`

DESCRIBE `members`

DESCRIBE `relationship_statuses`

DESCRIBE `zipcodes`

DESCRIBE `images`

DESCRIBE `posts`

DESCRIBE `post_types`

DESCRIBE `events`

DESCRIBE `event_attendees`

DESCRIBE `groups_users`

DESCRIBE `groups`

DESCRIBE `friends`

DESCRIBE `group_posts`

DESCRIBE `post_recipients`

DESCRIBE `post_comments`

DESCRIBE `blogs`

DESCRIBE `blogs_comments`

DESCRIBE `tags`

DESCRIBE `blogs_tags`

SELECT `Member`.`id`, `Member`.`username`, `Member`.`password`, `Member`.`email`, `Member`.`gender`, `Member`.`zip_code`, `Member`.`relationship_status_id`, `Member`.`registration_key`, `Member`.`verified`, `Member`.`date_of_birth`, `Member`.`sexual_orientation`, `Member`.`story`, `Member`.`first_name`, `Member`.`last_name`, `Member`.`created`, `Member`.`modified`, `Member`.`last_active`, `Member`.`display_name`, `Member`.`super_admin`, `Member`.`deleted`, `ProfileImage`.`id`, `ProfileImage`.`image_path`, `ProfileImage`.`thumbnail_path`, `ProfileImage`.`member_id`, `ProfileImage`.`profile_image`, `ProfileImage`.`album_id`, `ProfileImage`.`page_id`, `ProfileImage`.`created`, `ProfileImage`.`modified` FROM `members` AS `Member` LEFT JOIN `images` AS `ProfileImage` ON (`ProfileImage`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id` AND `ProfileImage`.`profile_image` = 1) WHERE `Member`.`username` = 'DivorceCoachLori' LIMIT 1

SELECT `BlogSeries`.`id`, `BlogSeries`.`member_id`, `BlogSeries`.`name`, `BlogSeries`.`description`, `BlogSeries`.`page_seo`, `BlogSeries`.`metatitle`, `BlogSeries`.`metadescription`, `BlogSeries`.`metakeywords`, `BlogSeries`.`featured`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsored`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_dn`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_name`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_message`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_url`, `BlogSeries`.`top_count`, `BlogSeries`.`created`, `BlogSeries`.`modified`, `BlogSeries`.`deleted`, `BlogSeries`.`image_id`, `Image`.`id`, `Image`.`image_path`, `Image`.`thumbnail_path`, `Image`.`member_id`, `Image`.`profile_image`, `Image`.`album_id`, `Image`.`page_id`, `Image`.`created`, `Image`.`modified` FROM `blog_series` AS `BlogSeries` LEFT JOIN `images` AS `Image` ON (`BlogSeries`.`image_id` = `Image`.`id`) WHERE `BlogSeries`.`member_id` = 2181 AND `BlogSeries`.`page_seo` = 'I-Am-Petrified-To-Date-Again' LIMIT 1

SELECT `Blog`.`id`, Blog.id, Blog.title FROM `blogs` AS `Blog` WHERE `Blog`.`blog_series_id` = 14 AND `Blog`.`member_id` = 2181 ORDER BY `created` DESC

SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `blogs` AS `Blog` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`Blog`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `blog_series` AS `BlogSeries` ON (`Blog`.`blog_series_id` = `BlogSeries`.`id`) WHERE `Blog`.`blog_series_id` = 14

SELECT `Image`.`id`, `Image`.`image_path`, `Image`.`thumbnail_path`, `Image`.`member_id`, `Image`.`profile_image`, `Image`.`album_id`, `Image`.`page_id`, `Image`.`created`, `Image`.`modified` FROM `images` AS `Image` WHERE `Image`.`member_id` = 2341 AND `Image`.`profile_image` = 1 LIMIT 1

SELECT `Zipcode`.`id`, `Zipcode`.`zip`, `Zipcode`.`latitude`, `Zipcode`.`longitude`, `Zipcode`.`city`, `Zipcode`.`state`, `Zipcode`.`fullstate`, `Zipcode`.`county`, `Zipcode`.`zipclass` FROM `zipcodes` AS `Zipcode` WHERE `Zipcode`.`zip` = '80129' LIMIT 1

DESCRIBE `pages`

DESCRIBE `pages_comments`

DESCRIBE `pages_tags`

SELECT `Blog`.`id`, `Blog`.`external_id`, `Blog`.`member_id`, `Blog`.`title`, `Blog`.`page_seo`, `Blog`.`description`, `Blog`.`tags`, `Blog`.`metatitle`, `Blog`.`metadescription`, `Blog`.`metakeywords`, `Blog`.`featured`, `Blog`.`published`, `Blog`.`original_content`, `Blog`.`content`, `Blog`.`created`, `Blog`.`modified`, `Blog`.`deleted`, `Blog`.`blog_series_id`, `Blog`.`top_count`, `Member`.`id`, `Member`.`username`, `Member`.`password`, `Member`.`email`, `Member`.`gender`, `Member`.`zip_code`, `Member`.`relationship_status_id`, `Member`.`registration_key`, `Member`.`verified`, `Member`.`date_of_birth`, `Member`.`sexual_orientation`, `Member`.`story`, `Member`.`first_name`, `Member`.`last_name`, `Member`.`created`, `Member`.`modified`, `Member`.`last_active`, `Member`.`display_name`, `Member`.`super_admin`, `Member`.`deleted`, `BlogSeries`.`id`, `BlogSeries`.`member_id`, `BlogSeries`.`name`, `BlogSeries`.`description`, `BlogSeries`.`page_seo`, `BlogSeries`.`metatitle`, `BlogSeries`.`metadescription`, `BlogSeries`.`metakeywords`, `BlogSeries`.`featured`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsored`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_dn`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_name`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_message`, `BlogSeries`.`sponsor_url`, `BlogSeries`.`top_count`, `BlogSeries`.`created`, `BlogSeries`.`modified`, `BlogSeries`.`deleted`, `BlogSeries`.`image_id` FROM `blogs` AS `Blog` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`Blog`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `blog_series` AS `BlogSeries` ON (`Blog`.`blog_series_id` = `BlogSeries`.`id`) WHERE 1 = 1 ORDER BY `Blog`.`created` DESC LIMIT 5

SELECT `ProfileImage`.`id`, `ProfileImage`.`image_path`, `ProfileImage`.`thumbnail_path`, `ProfileImage`.`member_id`, `ProfileImage`.`profile_image`, `ProfileImage`.`album_id`, `ProfileImage`.`page_id`, `ProfileImage`.`created`, `ProfileImage`.`modified` FROM `images` AS `ProfileImage` WHERE `ProfileImage`.`member_id` = 2149 AND `ProfileImage`.`profile_image` = 1

SELECT `Tag`.`id`, `Tag`.`tag`, `Tag`.`created`, `Tag`.`modified`, `BlogsTag`.`blog_id`, `BlogsTag`.`tag_id` FROM `tags` AS `Tag` JOIN `blogs_tags` AS `BlogsTag` ON (`BlogsTag`.`blog_id` IN (114, 113, 112, 111, 110) AND `BlogsTag`.`tag_id` = `Tag`.`id`) WHERE 1 = 1

SELECT `Events`.`event_id`, `Events`.`creator_member_id`, `Events`.`access_level`, `Events`.`event_name`, `Events`.`start_date`, `Events`.`end_date`, `Events`.`addr1`, `Events`.`addr2`, `Events`.`city`, `Events`.`state`, `Events`.`zip`, `Events`.`description`, `Events`.`created`, `Events`.`modified`, `Events`.`deleted` FROM `events` AS `Events` WHERE `Events`.`start_date` >= 1280376000 AND `Events`.`deleted` = 0 ORDER BY `Events`.`event_name` ASC LIMIT 5

SELECT `Page`.`id`, `Page`.`title`, `Page`.`page_seo`, `Page`.`category_id`, `Page`.`subcategory_id`, `Page`.`description`, `Page`.`content`, `Page`.`metatitle`, `Page`.`metadescription`, `Page`.`metakeywords`, `Page`.`tags`, `Page`.`published`, `Page`.`featured`, `Page`.`system`, `Page`.`sitemap`, `Page`.`member_id`, `Page`.`created`, `Page`.`modified`, `Page`.`top_article_count`, `Member`.`id`, `Member`.`username`, `Member`.`password`, `Member`.`email`, `Member`.`gender`, `Member`.`zip_code`, `Member`.`relationship_status_id`, `Member`.`registration_key`, `Member`.`verified`, `Member`.`date_of_birth`, `Member`.`sexual_orientation`, `Member`.`story`, `Member`.`first_name`, `Member`.`last_name`, `Member`.`created`, `Member`.`modified`, `Member`.`last_active`, `Member`.`display_name`, `Member`.`super_admin`, `Member`.`deleted`, `Image`.`id`, `Image`.`image_path`, `Image`.`thumbnail_path`, `Image`.`member_id`, `Image`.`profile_image`, `Image`.`album_id`, `Image`.`page_id`, `Image`.`created`, `Image`.`modified` FROM `pages` AS `Page` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`Page`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `images` AS `Image` ON (`Image`.`page_id` = `Page`.`id`) WHERE `featured` = 1 AND `published` = 1 ORDER BY `Page`.`top_article_count` ASC, `Page`.`created` DESC LIMIT 5

SELECT `PagesComment`.`id`, `PagesComment`.`page_id`, `PagesComment`.`member_id`, `PagesComment`.`text`, `PagesComment`.`created`, `PagesComment`.`deleted` FROM `pages_comments` AS `PagesComment` WHERE `PagesComment`.`page_id` IN (100064, 100063, 100061, 100060, 100066) ORDER BY `PagesComment`.`created` DESC

SELECT `Tag`.`id`, `Tag`.`tag`, `Tag`.`created`, `Tag`.`modified`, `PagesTag`.`page_id`, `PagesTag`.`tag_id` FROM `tags` AS `Tag` JOIN `pages_tags` AS `PagesTag` ON (`PagesTag`.`page_id` IN (100064, 100063, 100061, 100060, 100066) AND `PagesTag`.`tag_id` = `Tag`.`id`) WHERE 1 = 1

UPDATE `pages` AS `Page` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`Page`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) SET `Page`.`top_article_count` = 9947 WHERE `Page`.`id` = 100064

SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `friends` AS `Friend` LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Requestor` ON (`Friend`.`member_id` = `Requestor`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Requestee` ON (`Friend`.`friend_id` = `Requestee`.`id`) WHERE `Friend`.`approved` = 0 AND `Friend`.`rejected` = 0 AND `Friend`.`ignored` = 0 AND `Friend`.`friend_id` IS NULL

DESCRIBE `he_said_she_saids`

DESCRIBE `he_said_she_saids_comments`

SELECT `HeSaidSheSaid`.`id`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`page_seo`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`question`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`hesaid_text`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`shesaid_text`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`published`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`created`, `HeSaidSheSaid`.`modified` FROM `he_said_she_saids` AS `HeSaidSheSaid` WHERE 1 = 1 ORDER BY `created` DESC LIMIT 1

SELECT COUNT(*) AS `count` FROM `he_said_she_saids_comments` AS `HeSaidSheSaidsComment` LEFT JOIN `he_said_she_saids` AS `HeSaidSheSaid` ON (`HeSaidSheSaidsComment`.`he_said_she_said_id` = `HeSaidSheSaid`.`id`) LEFT JOIN `members` AS `Member` ON (`HeSaidSheSaidsComment`.`member_id` = `Member`.`id`) WHERE `he_said_she_said_id` = 5 AND `comment_type` = 1

I am Petrified to Date Again!

By: DivorceCoachLori

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