I've been married 23 years and 5 months (yes, to the same man!) and I still love him, while I am sure there are times he "tolerates" me! Believe me, it hasn't always been wedding bouquets, honeymooning or even sexual bliss. We have had our fair share (and sometimes, more than our share) of problems.
We married young. I was 18 and fresh out of high school and he was 21. NO, we didn't "have" to get married, we wanted to because we were (ARE) in love. It wasn't easy! OMGosh, when I think back at how young we really were and how naive, I am sometimes surprised we made it at all. Our own children are 19 and 20 and I can't even imagine either of them being married at this time of their lives.
The first 14 years were AMAZING! Yes, I said amazing and 14 years in the same sentence! They really were! He was my best friend and I would get "giddy" every time I even thought about seeing him, talking to him, being with him. And we were rabbits! The sex was awesome every time! It was something I looked forward to at the end of the day or even the start of one. And then we hit a snag........Okay, I hit a snag! Work (his), the kids, their activities and sports, his activities and sports, church activities which we were very involved for 12 years at our church. It all became a little too much like I was the mom of three kids who I gave every second of my life to. I know, as moms thats what we are supposed to do right? Wrong! At the end of the day, the plate was left empty and I was still hungry...for what? (more of that later)
Money issues were always a problem because we were a single income family, which is how we wanted it at the time. Unfortunately, even though the kids are grown, we still have several money issues (thank you ECONOMY!). We don't argue about money (any more!), we have learned the hard way that there is no point to it. We just work harder to fix it.
In 23 years we have gone through: new wedded bliss, even old wedded bliss, children, money issues, children's problems, so many activities they boggle the mind, an almost broken marriage (more on that later), more money issues, empty nest syndrome...but I can honestly say that I am happy in my marriage and in my life.
And with the kids grown...our time together has just begun! I'm even getting that "giddy" feeling again!
Comments
LOR (8 months ago) Great story, thanks for sharing. Any advice. Been married 15 years and now find myself unhappy for all the same reasons posted: complacency, change in goals, no communication, no commonalities, grew apart, new confidence in self...LOR
Dael623 (6 months ago) Happy...yeah, been there, done that for all of about 2 years. I brought home flowers, bought presents, spent every spare moment on her. Then the excuses started...not on worknights, not tonight (the kids), not this weekend. then finally she says "you know, I really don't like sex so we're not going to do that very much any more". There have been some years where it's been 2 or 3 times a year and other times where it's been 2 or 3 years in between. I stopped bringing flowers...I stopped bringing presents...I didn't want to spend any time with her. So at this point...kids gone, income higher than ever, free time abounds...I don't have the passion in my life to do anything with her. Signed...disgruntled with life?
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aniv (9 months ago) i hope you keep that feeling. i have been married to the same man for 39 years, kids all grown and out of the house, great< wrong, this man has cheated for years and still cheats every chance he gets. tells the women he meet that he is not married.as soon as he is founded out he stops with that one and starts with another. why do i stay? i am disable and cannot work so i am depending on him financially.what a bummer. i want out so bad. need help, but can't find any.