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  Lulu2 (5 months ago) been married for almost 11 yrs, have 3 wonderful kids that I adore, our marriage turned for the worst after having our first, I went thru a trauma in 2005 (one would think he would "see the light" after having his wife & 2 older kids could've been killed) he still acted like a jerk, he straighted out in 2006 when I seriously spoke about divorce, been ok, but still some issues I don't know if I can deal with. So confused, feel so manipulated & forced to stay. How do I just end it???? he's been a great father unlike before, better husband but I feel smothered, can't express my feelings , my words always gets twisted or somehow my problem or whatever ends being about him??? I don't know where he's coming from very selfish, insecure. uh just so tired of it all! Is this just a phase? yeah a pretty long one for about almost 9 yrs now, I always end up feeling the same way I know it's not going to work. These last 2 incidents are just knawing at me, can't believe he says a sorry should be good enough & he acts like everything is ok again as usual! UUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    johnlove (3 months ago) Hello dear one, i hope to meet a noble and clever woman who will make my life more interesting and add more sense to it. I respect old traditional value of family life very highly, and I know I will be a good husband for my life-partner,age intelligent with a good sense of humor. I would like to meet a nice woman with whom I could feel happy and comfortable and who will be my best friend and faithful life-partner for the rest of my life. I am ready to be a good husband for her and to give all my love to him till the end of the road. Here is my email: [johnford4real50@yahoo.com] I am waiting to get a reply from you. Remember distance or colour does not matter but true love matters alot in life. I will stop here and be waiting to here from you soon in my main box. Bye for now. And remain blessed. Yours Sincerely,

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    Lulu2 (5 months ago) One incident was 2 wks ago now, we went to a friends going away party he got drunk (still no excuse) starting peeing in the parking lot as we walked to my truck, he was standing by the passenger door I put the truck in reverse (not to back out until he gets in the truck) which I have done before. He got super pissed & started walking yelling back at me, I couldn't back out cuz another car was pulling in behind me, I went to go after him but lost him ( very dark where I live) I went up & down the street 3 x, knowing this is going to start some shit. And it did, he says I did that on purpose & left him there. I say he's a 38 yr old man who is a big friggin child! we argued until 3:00 am as usual cuz when he wants to talk there's no going to sleep. He brought up issues from 8 months ago too citing that's why he acted the way he did! Not fair since we are suppose to be communicating!!!! The other reason: (about 3 days later) I went to bed, we kissed good night, he got out of bed went into the bathroom turned on the fan, pump the lotion & ya know! Something I've said in the past (we've argued over this) his uses it as an ultimatium. It's disgusting right in the next room!!! We have a master bath. I think it's so disrespectful to do that while I'm in the next room. Now he's said last night (knowing I have stomach issues) "that's understandable not doing it (us having sex) cuz he couldn't imagine doing it while his stomach was hurting him. We went to a counselor 2x, I caved in both times. I feel like I can't leave him cuz he's gotten better (he used to be really bad w/ his anger no hitting but plenty of verbal & emotional abuse) he was horrible to the kids, drank all the time. Even after the accident he drove like an asswhole w/ me & the kids in it, I lost my grandmother in that accident, & yet again it's all about him (he keeps forgetting) We've talked about counseling again, I don't really want to go cuz I know he'll act all innocent there but the shit won't stop when we get home. I know 9 yrs is long but I guess it goes back to my childhood, my mom & dad were divorcing when my dad dies ( I was 8), I grew up w/out a dad plus a little part of me knows he will be hard to deal w/ & may not come around for the kids to spite me.

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    DivorceCoachLori (5 months ago) Not sure what the incidents are either that you are talking about, but have you tried relationship counseling or coaching? He obviously needs to do/be more thaan just am I'm sorry. You need more than that and maybe a third person can help explain that to him. best to you

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